This novel is an exposé on the abuse faced by young athletes as exemplified by the compelling and harrowing story of Mary Cain and her time as an elite runner. The author is a powerful storyteller who is able to illustrate the full emotional and physical impact of her abuse in sports through impactful vulnerability and honesty. You can feel the downward spiral in the shift in tone and emotion as her story goes further and further into years of mistreatment. I greatly appreciate her choice to write this story in the present tense as this makes it jarringly clear how the experiences she endured changed her mindset and well being.
Throughout the book Mary describes the abusive coaching environment she experienced both in high school and as an elite runner with the Nike Oregon Project. It’s saddening to hear how two male coaches ridiculed this young woman instead of lifting her up. On top of this, the systems around these coaches (i.e. her high school, fellow athletes, Nike) were complacent with this behavior and did nothing to stop it. Overtime you can slowly notice her confidence fade as the negative mindset of her coaches seeps into her view of herself and the sport of running.
This story not only exemplifies the impact coaches have but also the impact parents have on young athletes. The author is able to hold on to some positivity and confidence in high school seemly due in part to her parent’s warm and loving presence in her life. You can sense the dark shift in her mindset when she becomes more distant from them later in life as this eliminates the one positive and healthy adult relationship she had. While parents can’t entirely negate the impact of abusing coaching they can provide an example of what healthy support looks like for an athlete, which can make a huge difference.
It’s inspiring to hear about her journey to healing after leaving elite running. Despite many physical injuries and emotional impacts she is pursing dreams and goals both related to and unrelated to running. I appreciate her focus on the importance of therapy and time for healing from trauma as I imagine many others can find this helpful on their own journey.
If you’re looking for an impactful story that highlights the pitfalls of the elite running world this is the book for you. This story is also a great example of how the impact of abusive relationships and environments slowly creep into your mindset and how hard they can be to leave. It also shows how you can heal from these kinds of situations and advocate for change for others. The author ends the novel with an impactful call to action for changing the sports world to prevent abuse.
Trigger warning: there are graphic descriptions of eating disorder behaviors (including specific weights and calorie counts), self harm, and suicide ideation in this book
Next month: The Champions Mind by Jim Afremow